sexual anorexia

I love sex. I just do.

I love women. To hold a woman, to smell a woman, to taste a woman, to penetrate a woman is bliss for me. It transports me to another place. Heaven.

And the sad thing is I haven't touched a woman in 8 years.

There were a variety of factors that led to that drought, but the truth is I'm now open to sexual experience again. And I look forward to it with relish!.

However, I also have some hesitation.

I like it so much that I can easily get caught up with a woman who is not right for me, just because I enjoy the physical connection so much.

Also, I like it so much that I worry that even if I'm with the right woman I will overpower her with my sexual desire. In 20 years of sexual experience I can only point to 2 women who matched my desire. One of them I spent a blissful 10 days with where we did nothing but fuck, eat, and sleep. Literally. We were in bed all the time. And we both loved it. I miss that.

So... my hesitations, like the anorexic that avoids food because she loves it too much, keep me abstinent at the moment.

I also find it more difficult now that I'm older. The women I'm interested in physically are usually much younger than me, and that brings its own slew of problems. The longer I wait, the more of a problem it becomes.

I am also much more keenly aware at this state of my life that if I settle down with someone, they will age and become increasingly less attractive to me. And I'll be stuck - unless I keep trading them in, like Hugh Hefner. ugh

I guess I need to break the ice with someone, anyone. It's become such a big deal now that I need to normalize it.